No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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