i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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