Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
