On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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