u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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