I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
