this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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