when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize