So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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