Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
