I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize