If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
