Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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