Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
