pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
