Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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