i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
