Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
