i think my tv is drunk
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
