he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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