I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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