i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
