Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
