You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
