It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
nutella sex= disaster
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
