he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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