I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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