There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
