Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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