Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my liver is dry heaving
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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