First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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