He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
