he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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