i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
