handjob tips. give me some.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
