You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
