where does the pee come out of this thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
