Soap is not a condiment
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
