Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize