All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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