I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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