My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize