I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
