why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
