If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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