Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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