We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
