Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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