just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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