my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
