4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this hospital has no fireball
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
