hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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