I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
