I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
