The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
