We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I want is dick and wine.
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