Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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