Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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