Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
