best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
