just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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