Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
