i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
