I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
