Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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