...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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