May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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